


love is a wild thing

by xx_anklebiters_xx



Series: miserable [3]
Category: Bandom, Paramore
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xx_anklebiters_xx/pseuds/xx_anklebiters_xx
Summary: even if you lose it, it will find you.there's no way to stop it, but they'll try to.
Relationships: Hayley Williams/Taylor York
Series: miserable [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826542
Comments: 11
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Hayley took a seat next to Taylor on the couch and let out a heavy sigh. She leaned back and rubbed her stomach. Taylor looked over at her.

"What?" he questioned softly. "Did your meeting not go well?"

She let out a chuckle and rubbed his shoulder. "It went better than expected. It's just.. I'm only approved hiatus until March." Taylor let out a quiet 'oh.'

"And then you tour again?" he asked, purely for confirmation. She nodded. "Okay. How are you wanting to go about that?"

"Well, I thought the two of you could come with me," she told him.

Taylor didn't answer. He knew she wouldn't be allowed to go on hiatus until the baby was at least a year old as they'd hoped because of all the changes they'd recently made. He knew that switching labels and bouncing back from a rehabilitation hiatus with a hit album set Hayley up to have to do this.

"Do you not want to?" Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

He smiled warmly for a second before saying, "Of course I do. I'm just worried about traveling with a baby. Our _first_ baby, at that." And she understood.

"I am _not_ enjoying this last trimester of pregnancy. I don't fit anywhere!" Taylor leaned back with Hayley and kissed her cheek.

"Oh please, you're gorgeous! Come on, there's a little York in there!" He poked her stomach and she laughed. "And he's coming so soon! Does that mean the album is coming soon?"

"Oh, duh!" Hayley exclaimed. "They're releasing it in October and then releasing tour dates in November. Then we tour in January! Singles get put out sprinkled through September."

"That's very cool. You know.. your due date is coming faster than I ever thought it would." Hayley rolled her eyes.

"I know! We're so close to labor! I hope that means I'll get to see my in-laws soon!" She smiled at the thought of seeing the rest of the Yorks. "Really tired of being so bloated."

"Of course," he told her. "Mom and Dad are trying to come now!"

"Oh, yes, please!" Hayley begged. She was freaking out about this baby and she needed _someone_ to calm her down. Even though she didn't mean to, Hayley's mom just made her more nervous. "Please, babe, we can fly them all down!"

"They'll be here for a while." Shortly after Taylor had moved down to Nashville and they'd gotten married, Hayley traded her apartment for a rather large home for she and Taylor to host family and, when the time came, build their own. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! I love them!" she exclaimed. "Ella and Nora can stay in the nursery, Nora's bed is still in there. And then there are the guest rooms."

"We might not need all three guest rooms," Taylor told her quietly. It was as if he were sharing a secret. "Chris might prefer to stay in a hotel."

"Oh," Hayley said. She couldn't hide her hurt as her desire to have Chris around was rooted in her inability to feel accepted by the entire York clan. "I just- I thought maybe he'd like to stay here. To interact more, especially because this is our first kid."

"I know," he said. He rubbed her knee. "You know he's just not as social as my other family members."

"I'm tired," she responded. Forcefully, she pushed herself up off of the couch. "G'night."

"I'll be upstairs soon," he murmured.

She'd done this many a time in the last couple of months. She'd opted to stop taking her anti-depressants during her pregnancy after talking to her doctor about what would be best for the baby. On top of that, the pregnancy hormones were making things even more difficult for her.

He texted Chris a couple of times and figured his brother would respond in the morning. Afterward, he went upstairs. Hayley was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling with the light still on. Taylor kneeled down next to her side of the bed.

He kissed her cheek. "Chris loves you, you know. He's just not a family man." She said nothing, so he kissed her cheek again and turned on the lamp next to her. "You should use this, you know."

"It's too bright to sleep with," she mumbled.

"You have to sleep with the lamp on, baby. It's for your depression." She nodded and he walked around to the other side of the bed before climbing in.

He leaned over and put his ear to her stomach. She ran her fingers through his curls. "Are you sure we can't name him Benji?" she asked.

"Absolutely positive. You can name him anything except for that." Hayley groaned.

"Okay well, I think that Vance is a very nice middle name. What goes well with Vance?" Taylor kissed her stomach and then moved toward her face.

"I dunno. I _think_ that there's a baby name book right next to you, though." He laughed and reached over her. "Pick a letter."

"M."

Taylor flipped the book open to the M section for boys. "Mason, Maxwell, Major. I hate all of these."

"Try O."

"When did you highlight Oliver?" He asked.

She hummed. "Around the time you said you liked Olivia. Oliver James?"

"I like that. A nice ring." He kissed Hayley's cheek. "Okay, okay. We're sleeping now."

And though they'd both laid down and attempted to sleep, Taylor heard Hayley whisper, "Oliver James."

Taylor checked his phone the next morning, surprised that his brother had actually texted back for once. He knew it was for Hayley, though, because Chris thought Hayley too sweet to hurt.

**Chris 9:48 a.m.**   
_Def will stay @ ur place for H_

**Chris 9:49 a.m.**   
_Send her my love_

Taylor smiled and looked over at his sleeping wife. He knew she'd be filled with pure, unadulterated joy to have all of his family members stay with them. Suddenly he couldn't wait to see her so happy, so he booked all the flights and opted to wait until she got up to tell her.

Taylor really didn't want to stay in bed, he wanted to go have some coffee and maybe go for a walk. He didn't, though, because he knew that Hayley would panic if she woke up and he was gone. So he laid back down and began to rub circles on her stomach.

When she woke up, he chuckled as she struggled to sit up properly because of how big she'd gotten. She rolled her eyes at him. He could tell that she wasn't in the best of moods.

"Guess what?" he said.

Hayley sighed and asked, "What?"

"I'd make you actually guess, but you don't seem to be in the mood. I booked all the flights and my parents, Justin, Jana, and the girls are all flying out tomorrow morning." Taylor could see Hayley's face fall when he didn't mention Chris.

"I'm glad. I really miss them," she confessed.

"One more thing, though. We've gotta clean the other guest room up real nice for Chris. He's flying out tomorrow night!" He was happy to see Hayley's smile beaming. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

"Really? Yes!" she squealed.

"Yes, but remember, Chris, Justin, and my dad cannot stay for six consecutive weeks. They'll have to fly back out when the baby comes."


	2. Chapter 2

Hayley walked in and sat down at the foot of Chris' bed as he put his clothes into the dresser. "Sorry that they lost your luggage the other day," she told him.

"It's not your fault," he laughed. "Besides, they found it and I have it now. So it's all good. I was really just mad because I had a gift for you in one of the bags they lost."

"For me?" she questioned.

"Yeah, because I couldn't make it to the baby shower." He turned around and looked up at her. "Mom's gonna spoil your kid especially."

"Why do you say that?" Hayley asked.

"Because he's the first boy. And a little because Taylor's her favorite." Hayley shook her head at him.

"The first part, I believe, but Taylor isn't her favorite." She let out a short laugh and said, "Parents don't have favorites."

"Says the only child," he pointed out. "Every parent has a favorite. Justin and Jana for example. We all know Justin favors Nora. That's okay, though, because Jana favors Ella."

"None of this is true!" Hayley exclaimed. "I think they love the girls equally."

"Okay, if you say so. If you ask them, they'll-"

"Shit!" Hayley gasped out. As she hunched over, she gripped the comforter so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked. He got up and moved to her side. She nodded and took some deep breaths and became calm once more.

"Braxton Hicks," Hayley explained. Chris' face scrunched up in confusion. "They're kinda like practice contractions. I've had quite a few today. I'm fine, just keep talking."

"Oh.. okay. As I was saying, Justin and Jana will tell you they have a favorite. That doesn't mean they don't treat them equally, though." Chris explained.

Hayley tried to steady her breathing as Chris droned on. She couldn't, though, especially when she became almost sure she'd peed on Chris's bed.

"Chris," she said slowly, "I'm very sorry about the bed, but I think my water just broke."

Chris turned to her, eyes wide, and asked, "You're just messing with me, right?" Hayley shook her head. "Are you sure you didn't just pee?"

"I need you to go get Taylor."

She'd never seen Chris run so fast. Last she'd checked, Taylor and Nora were going to go play with Alf in the back yard, so she knew Chris had to go all the way downstairs and to the back door. To calm herself, Hayley thought that maybe she could at least take off the white bedding she'd just destroyed.

The woman struggled to push herself up from the bed and immediately had to lean over, a cry leaving her lips as the next wave of what were apparently real contractions rolled through. She stripped the bed after she calmed down and attempted to bunch up all of it to go take it to the laundry room.

"Hayley, what the hell are you _doing?_ " Taylor asked when he got himself into the room. He was heaving a little, he'd clearly run up the stairs to get to her.

"Chris has to sleep _somewhere,_ " she pointed out.

"Hayley, it's seriously okay," Chris told her from behind his younger brother. "You should get to the hospital."

"I know, Chris, let me just get these in the washer at least." Taylor sighed and made his way over to Hayley and attempted to pull the blankets out of her hands. She yanked them and stumbled back a little.

"Seriously, Hayley, come on," he told her. She ignored him and continued to carry the pile out of the room. In the hall, he stopped her and tossed the blankets onto the floor. "Stop messing around."

"For fuck's sake, Taylor! _I'm_ the one who's having the baby. _I_ will tell you when _I_ think we should go!" she yelled.

Taylor looked into her eyes for a brief moment before heaving a heavy sigh, turning on his foot, and going down the stairs. He walked straight up to his mother. "You do it," he said, "because she's insane."

Michelle looked over at her husband and then nodded at her youngest son. Justin and Jana chose not to intervene. "Just go pack a bag, Taylor."

Just up the stairs, realization was setting in for Hayley, which took a lot more time than her hormones did to kick up. It didn't help that she'd had contractions shortly after Taylor went downstairs.

When she saw Michelle, she let out a terrified whine before saying, "He's six weeks too early. I'm not ready. We're not ready! What if he's not okay?"

"I know, I know," the woman told her as she rubbed her back slowly. "It'll be okay. Taylor's packing a bag and then we're going to go and I'll call your mom. Listen, babies are born this early all the time."

Hayley nodded and took a deep breath. Then, she said, "Michelle, your son has never been more on my nerves."

Michelle nodded, "Jana said the same thing the night Nora was born."

Once at the hospital, Taylor was handed a clipboard of questions that he knew the answers to like the back of his hand. He answered them quickly and paced in the waiting room after a very aggressive " _not_ you," from Hayley when she decided which of the two Yorks was going to go back with her.

"Cristi, thank _God_!" he exclaimed when the older blonde woman entered the lobby.

One of the nurses informed them that Hayley was settled in and they could follow him to Hayley's room. Fortunately, she was allowed three guests. Unfortunately, she was still extremely mad at Taylor and stayed that way until she was fully dilated and needed to start pushing.

She suddenly turned to him and said, "I'm scared."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. She grabbed his hand. "I'm right here. You'll be okay."

Taylor was comforted by the fact that with each bone-crushing squeeze of his hand, he was one push closer to meeting his child. He kept his eyes mainly on Hayley, but occasionally looked up to smile at his mother and mother-in-law who were both on the other side of Hayley. Hayley was gripping the bedrail on that side while Michelle stroked her hand and Cristi petted her hair, both women cheering her on.

Hayley relaxed and a cry rang out through the room, the couple's mothers laughing with joy. Taylor took a step back when a nurse placed a squishy little baby on Hayley's chest so they could let him cut the cord. She cooed at him.

"That's.. gross," Taylor said. Hayley's head snapped over to him.

"Taylor!" she exclaimed. She should have been mad, but it seemed that she was so delusional from the exhaustion that she laughed.

"He's got stuff all over him. What are they _doing_ to you?" He changed the subject when nurses began to press on Hayley's stomach.

"The placenta is still in there, honey," Michelle told him. "I wouldn't recommend looking." So, Taylor kept his eyes on his wife and son.


	3. Chapter 3

The first time Taylor held his son, he almost immediately began to cry. "Gosh, you're tiny. Four pounds and 11 ounces? That's crazy! I'm sorry I called you gross, but, you'll get it when you see vernix all over a little human that just came out of the love of your life."

Hayley chuckled from the bed, she was still very clearly tired. The upside, though, was that her legs were closed, down, and covered by a blanket. "Come here," she said to Taylor.

"Do you want him?" he asked, coming closer and extending his arms only the slightest bit. Something about that made him realize that he never wanted to let go of that little boy.

Hayley smiled softly and shook her head. Taylor looked at her, her face was beaded with sweat, but had lost its red color from all the pushing. "I just wanted to say that I'm never going to have a natural birth again."

Taylor chuckled and nodded. "That's okay. I'm proud of you, by the way. I meant to say it earlier. You're incredible. Thank you."

"Thank _you_. Can I see him?" Taylor nodded and placed the infant on Hayley's chest where he seemed to naturally nestle into the crook of her neck.

Hayley was exhausted and Taylor could tell. His brothers weren't going to come until the morning, but his parents, Cristi, and Zac were waiting just outside of the room for them. They wanted to give them time alone, so not even Cristi and Michelle had properly met the baby.

"Do you want me to tell our parents to go home? You need to rest." He kind of hoped Hayley would take him up on his offer.

"No, of course not. If you could just give me a tissue to wipe my face first, that would be great." He laughed and wiped her face for her.

Their family members filed in and Hayley's smile grew to a grin when she saw Zac. He had a large bag with him. He quickly moved to kiss Hayley's head.

"Hey, kid," he said.

"Zac, please, I'm a mom now!" she whined. "When I was seventeen, you said you would stop calling me that when I became an adult."

"Adults don't whine," he pointed out. Cristi laughed from the foot of the bed.

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. "Anyway, Peter, do you want to see your new grandson? Taylor called him gross."

Peter laughed and nodded, so Hayley put him in the man's arms. "Does little Oliver have a middle name?"

"Yeah, it's James," Taylor told him.

"And you peeked at his eyes, right?" Michelle asked.

"Green for now," Hayley told her. Michelle smiled because she'd been hoping he had green eyes.

After a while of them all passing Oliver around, the parents decided to go home so that Hayley could rest. Zac stayed and insisted that the couple open his gift. Hayley and Taylor finally agreed and Zac sat at the food of the bed with the baby while they did so.

"That's a dad bag for Taylor. I also think that would be easier to use on tour," he explained.

In the bag there was also a baby lounger which Hayley was excited about. Under those two large items, there was a pack of pacifiers, burping cloths, bibs, and a bath thermometer. Hayley and Taylor thanked him and he told them he loved them both and left them to get some rest.

The following morning, Jana, Nora, and Ella came in. Hayley was glad to have been able to shower and brush her hair. The girls were excited to see her.

"Auntie Hayley!" Ella exclaimed. "Where's baby?"

"Get up here, guys!" Hayley called out and patted the bed. Both girls climbed up rather quickly. "This is your little cousin Oliver."

Nora stroked his face very gently. The girls cooed and talked to him for a few minutes, but Ella seemed to lose interest when she was told she couldn't carry him. Nora seemed okay with this decision and continued to stroke his face.

When she asked, "Can I wake him up?" Jana ushered the girls out of the room and told them that Justin and Chris wanted to meet him too. Not after she got to hold him though, of course.

Both men hugged Hayley and kissed her head. Hayley had just placed the infant into his arms. Immediately, he took note of the little block attached to his ankle. "Whoa, is your baby on house arrest?"

Taylor laughed and shook his head. He then jerked his thumb toward Hayley and said, "Celebrity baby. They're making sure that no one tries to leave with him."

"That makes more sense, alright," he said with a chuckle. "And how are you, Hayley?"

"Tired. A little frustrated that Taylor can't figure out how to wrap a baby in a blanket but it's cool." Chris looked from Hayley to Taylor and back again.

Taylor rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He knew he'd frustrated Hayley before his family had arrived. After finishing changing his diaper, he sloppily swaddled the infant in a manner that was almost the complete opposite of what the nurse had shown him, leaving Hayley and her soreness to have to get up and fix it.

While Justin was holding the sleeping baby, he let out a chuckle. "Little man just made a stinky." Taylor got up to change him, but Justin held a hand out and said, "I got it, it's all good."

After everyone came and went that evening, Hayley and Taylor enjoyed the silence of the hospital room as their son slept. Taylor noticed Hayley staring at the little bassinet cart that held their child with a sort of longing cast over her face.

"Do you need me to get him?" He asked. He was already moving toward the cart when Hayley shook her head, wiping her eyes quickly. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

Hayley shrugged as he crouched down next to her face. "It's dumb," she mumbled and blinked more tears away.

Taylor was sure that it was going to be something silly, he was warned that she'd be upset about a lot of little things and maybe a little sensitive. No matter what, though, he didn't want her to be sad alone. "Try me," he urged.

A few tears escaped as she looked over Taylor's shoulder at their baby. "It's just- I'm just really sad that he's out now. I keep forgetting he's not in there and I really miss feeling him wiggle around. And it scares me that he's out here and so vulnerable."

By the time she finished talking, she was sobbing. Taylor climbed into the bed with her, wrapping his arms around her. "That's not dumb at all. You miss feeling him wiggle around, but soon enough he'll be just a little bit bigger and won't wanna do anything but cuddle with you! And then he can wiggle around on your chest and tummy! He's safe, H. You've got this. _We've_ got this. I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

"Alright, Dad. You have the car seat?" one of the nurses asked Taylor just a few days before the baby was supposed to go home. Although the topic was on the fence after Hayley caught a fever and, shortly after, fainted in the shower. Taylor was told fainting was pretty common; the fever was of mild concern.

"I do! Here you go," Taylor smiled at Hayley as he handed the nurse the car seat.

"Okay, this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna put baby in and monitor his vitals for about 90 minutes and if he experiences a drop in his heart rate or anything of the sort, we'll stop the test and call the doctor and he'll make a decision based on what he finds," she said calmly.

"Sounds simple enough, right buddy?" Hayley asked, tickling her baby's stomach. She then handed the baby to the nurse who was fully set up with a second nurse present to monitor the time and vitals.

Ten minutes in, the nurse said, "He's doing pretty well, considering the fact that he's so little. We've had babies fail immediately."

"What exactly does it mean if the baby fails?" Taylor questioned.

"Well, it usually just affects whether or not the baby can go home on their expected discharge date. There are rarely more serious cases than that," she explained.

The room was rather calm, that was until the nurse monitoring little Oliver's vitals said, "His heart rate's dropping, get him out  _ now. _ "

The nurse who was previously speaking pulled him out hastily and laid him on the empty space of the bed near Hayley's feet. "He's not breathing," she said. She didn't sound very calm, which sent Hayley into a panic.

The woman practically lunged forward at the infant until her husband grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back as the first nurse instructed the other to flip the baby over in her arms and rub his back and limbs.

Hayley wrestled against Taylor until he got close up to her and said, "Hey, just let them do their job, okay? It'll be okay. They don't seem too stressed about him right now, I think they know what they're doing."

By the time the baby had settled back into a labored breathing pattern, Hayley was sobbing. "Is he okay?" Taylor asked.

"He's quite alright. The doctor should be here in just a few minutes to discuss our next steps. Don't worry, this happens all the time and he's breathing on his own again, he'll be fine." The woman sounded confident in her words, so Taylor felt comforted.

The baby was handed back to Hayley, who continued to cry, even when the doctor arrived. He checked the baby's color and heartbeat and flashed a little light in his mouth and into the sides of his eyes. The couple watched him quietly.

"Do you, by chance, have another car seat?" the doctor asked Taylor.

"Actually, we do. We bought two different brands of car seats for our cars," he chuckled awkwardly.

"That's good. I want to do the test again tomorrow with that other seat, alright?" He asked. Taylor nodded and he turned to Hayley. "And Hayley, stop worrying so much, he's okay. You, on the other hand-" The man pulled out a thermometer and wiggled it at Hayley.

She allowed him to take her temperature and he made a weird face when he looked at it. "Your doctor will be in here in just a minute, I'll update her on your temperature."

Hayley's doctor was a little more straight forward and immediately said, "Dad, I need you to get the baby. Hayley, would you mind lifting your gown?"

She peeled back the blanket and Hayley lifted her gown as asked. The woman promptly began to feel Hayley's abdomen and moved down to her pelvis. "Does any of this hurt?" she asked.

"Not really. It does feel weird, just a lot of pressure?" Hayley answered.

"That's good. We're trying to make sure you haven't contracted an infection. Your fever went down, so we're not too worried. How are you feeling?" She asked.

"I'm okay physically," she smiled. They exchanged a few words before she left.

The next day, Taylor ran home to swap the first car seat for the second. For some reason, Hayley had never felt so alone. Luckily, he wasn't gone for long. The nurses prepared Oliver for a second test. This time, the doctor was present.

"Okay," the man said. "Let's see how this goes. Good luck to little Oliver, let's all keep our heads."

When the test started, the room was quiet. Hayley, however, could feel her heartbeat in her throat and could have sworn that she was on the verge of an aneurism. Everyone watched the tiny baby in the car seat intensely.

The nurse monitoring his vitals spoke just seven minutes in, "His heart rate is rising. Oxygen has dropped slightly."

When the other nurse moved to remove him from the car seat, the doctor stopped her. "Let's just wait a second."

Hayley looked at Taylor in shock. She couldn't help but feel like they were gambling with her child's life. And when the nurse informed him that the baby's oxygen level was shifting toward a steady decline, he removed Oliver himself.

Both Taylor and Hayley were relieved to find that he hadn't stopped breathing this time. However, they wondered just how long it would take them to get him home. Taylor realized just how sad this situation made him feel, even if he was supposed to be Hayley's rock.

"What it is," the doctor told them, "is that little Oliver is simply too small for these seats. Unfortunately, I'm concerned that he may be too small for any standard car seat. Worry not; this happens more often than you'd think. I'm not surprised this is the case, considering that his breathing was a little labored immediately postpartum."

Taylor was incredibly tired of hospital hallways and that damned couch in Hayley's room and asked with just a little too much force, "Well, how the hell are we supposed to get him home, then?"

Of course, the doctor took no offense in the couple's frustration. After all, they had both just realized their baby's stay at the hospital would be extended. So he said, "The key to a healthy baby is to work with what works for him. He breathes just fine lying here, as you can see. Your baby needs to be flat on his back, so I would recommend a car bed. Before you ask: it's like a car seat, but instead of being at a 45-degree angle, he's completely laid out. We'll provide you a list of places in which you can acquire one, and when you do, we'll try again."


End file.
